My boyfriend and I had been together for about four years when we started to discuss marriage. We had graduated from college and were renting an apartment together. We had raised an adorable and seemingly well-adjusted cat. Marriage seemed like the next step in our journey as a couple. There was just one thing holding us back— the cost of an engagement ring.
Between graduate school, students loans, rent, and basic utilities we were pretty much maxed out.
We ended up postponing our engagement until we had saved up a decent amount for a down payment on a ring, which we picked out together. Deciding to get married was a decision that we had mutually agreed upon and we thought that we should both have a say in the ring as well.
I find the whole engagement ring and proposal scenario outdated. It’s like saying: “Great we both want to get married! (I hope. If he just proposed without talking to me about it first I probably would have said no. That’s a big decisions to make without involving me, you know, a partner in this hypothetical marriage) Now you have to go out and buy me a large expensive piece of jewelry that I can wear on my finger to show people that I am betrothed to you.”
An engagement ring used to be a sign that your husband would be able to provide for you financially. While this may still be the case for some couples, most women play a bigger part in the financial stability of their household (although we are still not paid as much as our male counterparts for many reasons)
I contribute to our relationship financially and will continue to do so after we are married. Therefore, it seemed natural for us as a couple to share the cost of a ring. If he couldn’t make a payment I took over and vice versa.
I am very happy with my engagement ring, but I wish that I had done more research about the alternative ring options that are available to couples and the ethical concerns surrounding the way diamonds are harvested.
Brilliant Earth, for example, is a company that is devoted to selling jewelry that is produced in a humane and sustainable way. I had no idea that the demand for diamonds worldwide was contributing to pollution, unsafe working conditions, and violating the rights of indigenous people. Brilliant Earth engagement rings range from $475 upwards making them an affordable alternative to jewelry store chains.
Another option I hadn’t considered for myself was a tattoo in place of a ring. While my fiancée already has tattoos we ultimately decided against it because I’m too afraid of needles (something I hope to overcome one day!) However, there are many beautiful tattoo concepts for couples to look to for inspiration. Best of all you’ll never loose your ring because the reminder of your commitment will always be with you.
There are so many other options (some shown below) — a simple knot or Claddagh ring, silicone rings, wooden rings, etc.
I hope these options provide you with alternative ideas for you and your partner!
Resin Stacking Ring ~ daimblond via Etsy
Unconventional Bride 
Love the different ring options! For my brother, the ring was even more important than the wedding itself because he was going to be wearing it for a lot longer than the wedding would be!
LikeLike